Why did I have to get up early today??????????????????????????????? I sometimes wish that I was a little more irresponsible so that I could sleep in instead of completing my work at the house and going to work at the Marriott. The problem with that is that my family and I like to eat.

Today has been one of those days that I would like to go to sleep and forget about. It began this morning with the news that our friend Misty Wells had passed away and then continued this evening with the news that my mom broke her foot tonight. I feel like a balloon with all the air suddenly let out.

I can’t even begin to imagine how difficult this must be for Trey, Misty’s husband. I can only pray that God will comfort him like he comforts me when I’m in bad shape. I would give alot just to be there with Trey right now and to get to attend the funeral.

Mortality has a convincing way of creating internal reflection doesn’t it? I know for a fact that it’s not something I like. When I first went in to the ministry there were 3 things that I did not like doing, the first was hospital visitation, the second was funerals/visitations and the final was visiting nursing homes. Our worship pastor, John Haley, was very insightful when he helped me to see the reason behind these phobias was a result of an intense sense of my own mortality. I don’t like the feeling of death and/or dying! I’ve still not gotten past two of the three fears. The one that I’ve learned to handle, and even enjoy at times, would be hospital visitation.

I want to rant for a moment. There are a series of fields that one could go into that are considered professional degree fields. Law is one and so is medicine and believe it or not, Theology/Ministry is also one. Ministry however is treated wholly different than the rest. In any other field you are expected to enter your graduate studies with some basic background in your field, therefore your graduate work is very specialized and typically is not quite as lengthy. Theology is a different ballgame altogether. On the graduate level it is expected that you enter as an entry level student. Therefore the Master’s program is 3 times as lengthy as a typical Master’s program. This would be fine if there was some sort of different route for those with undergraduate education and experience in the field, but there’s not! Not unless you count the “advanced” M.Div. that many schools offer. This option, however, simply cuts 10-20 hours off your degree and is still full of entry level survey type courses! It’s still double the typical Master’s degree as far as your time is concerned. For someone like myself, who has 130 hours of theological education on the undergraduate level this can be very frustrating!! I know the typical response is, “Your undergrad wasn’t the same level of education that your grad program is.” While this sounds good, it’s simply not true. After 1 and a half years in seminary I can assure that the level of education in my situation is equal. The only glaring difference between college and seminary is that there is simply more reading and more writing on the seminary level. I’m even using the same textbooks as in college! I just wish that I could specialize on the graduate level and not still have to spend all this time working on basic intro courses that I’ve already completed.

School is coming again. As a matter of fact my classes start exactly 20 days from today. I like school, so it’s not that I’m opposed to school startnig, it’s just that I’m starting to get tired of being a student. Now, I hope that I’m always a “student” in the sense that I never stop wanting to learn. What I’m talking about is the formal educational process. I’ve been in school now for over 18 years. I have serious experience as a student! And to state it again, I like school. I’m just ready to stop always preparing for something and finally get the chance to just do it……………….

You know, I know without question that when I, or anyone for that matter, delivers any message in regards to God’s Word it is wholly God who causes the recipients to change. I have never had a problem questioning that. At the same time, I still find myself struggling with the lack of response that occurs after I preach/teach. It’s often very frustrating. What I’m talking about has nothing to do with initial response, by the way. I’m not interested in altar call reports and atta boy’s from the folks in the pews. What I’m interested in is genuine lifestyle variation. It just doesn’t seem to happen so much of the time…………………..

I am a horribly impatient person. I sometimes wish for the future to happen now. It’s not that I dislike what I’m doing now necessarily. Take for example my present situation. I am extremely happy as the pastor at Missouri Valley. I love the church, I love the people and I’m excited about what God is doing among us. At the same time, I constantly wonder what’s up ahead. I’ve decided that it’s a combination of two things. First, I’m sure that my background growing up moving all the time has a great deal to do with it. At this point I’ve moved 25 times and I think it’s probably hard for me to sit still in one place for very long. (Not to mention my hyperactive tendencies) Secondly, though, I’m convinced that God has a plan for my life involving the mission field. I feel so strongly about that! Whether it’s back overseas or whether it’s somewhere in the US (preferably the west coast) I’m not sure but I don’t know if I can be satisfied until I’m there.
 
I actually just thought of one final item. I imagine that my unsettled life as far as my career also has something to do with it. My entire life, even now, I have been and I am identified as a student. I am seen as someone “on their way” to an end. I think there’s a strong desire on my part to be doing, in a full time way, what it is that I will do for the rest of my life.
 
It sure gives me something to think about…………………

Well, I needed a little brake work done today. The men who fixed it tell me it took an hour or two. The problem is that they charged me $110 for their labor alone! I’ve been thinking about this and I’ve decided that I really should have learned something about automobile repair some time ago. I don’t really have the time to spend on it now which stinks because I could really save some money if I did. Oh well, that’s what the money is for I guess.

Well, it’s almost time to head off to the wonderful world of Marriott again. Today is one of those days that has seemed long yet I’ve been suprisingly unproductive. I did get an oil change and purchase a few items for the newest member of our family, Piper. Speaking of Piper, we have a dog. He was dumped in town yesterday and we have officially claimed him. He appears to be a mix of black lab and something else, we’re not sure what. Anyway, Grace really seems to like him and Tracy is in love with him. I’m rather partial to him myself.

Well, I need to get a shower so I can earn some cash!

Until next time!